Holiday Video Game Review:

Know your Halo's from your Bowser's before entering the toy store

by Kyle Richardson

Halo 3
Systems: Xbox 360
ESRB Rating: M

Reaching $170 million in sales on the first day in the U.S. alone, making it the fastest-selling game of all time, Halo 3 needs little introduction. It is likely most parents have heard of the other two games in the trilogy, which started in 2001 with Halo: Combat Evolved.

Halo 3’s game play remains mostly unaltered from the previous versions: players shoot, drive, shoot, detonate, shoot, punch and shoot through waves of alien forces. The game can also be networked, allowing one to compete against people with far too much time on their hands on Xbox Live (XBL). The game contains new weapons, vehicles, maps and abilities, but the game deviates little from its tried-and-true first person shooter roots.

A single individual, playing the game alone, can finish in roughly six hours but single-player missions are not the reason for Halo’s unapproachable popularity. A huge variety of multiplayer settings and options are responsible for over one million people logging on to XBL within the first 20 hours of the game’s release. Up to 16 people can compete simultaneously in a variety of war games and simulators, which can be played for countless hours. Devising new and colorful descriptions about the other players’ mothers seems to be part of the Halo community.

As the pre-eminent video game of the year, it is likely to appear on the holiday wish list of any kid who doesn’t yet have it, which may prove a problem for some parents. The game is rated Mature (M) for a reason: it is a futurist war simulator, rife with gunplay, explosions, screams and blood splatters. The level of violence matches what could be expected at a rated R war film, although the game is less visually graphic than other offerings in the genre. While there is nothing in the game most children haven’t seen on TV or in movies by now, parents should still be aware of the degree of violence in the game. Judging by the number of 12-year-olds who shoot me in the head every time I try to play, it seems most guardians have already made their decision.

Assassin’s Creed
Systems: PlayStation 3, Xbox 360 (PC, Nintendo DS in first quarter 2008)
ESRB Rating: M

Assassin’s Creed follows the story of a fuzzy bear named Altaïr as he and his friends try to save their forest from an evil logging company.

That line didn’t work when I told my parents to let me see Total Recall, and I don’t think it’ll work here, either.

Set in a well-researched recreation of 12th century Jerusalem, Damascus, and Acre, Assassin’s Creed places the player under control of an assassin attempting to keep the peace during the Third Crusade. For many, this will be an immediate red light, as the context draws heavily on conflicts between Muslims, Christians and Jews in Palestine, and although the game never proselytizes or even goes into much depth, the context alone could cause some to steer away from the title.

Unsurprisingly, much of the game play revolves around combat and assassination. Between the realistically modeled city and characters, and the graphically detailed animations, the violence can be overwhelming. Blood is thrown across the screen like rice at a wedding, and while it doesn’t have the level of gore that trauma-hound filmmakers like Eli Roth promote, the game earns its Mature rating. There is an amazing physics engine running the show, allowing for roof-leaping, sky-diving stunts, and there are multiple side-missions involving eavesdropping, pick pocketing and other acrobatics, but it is a rare five minutes that pass without someone dying.

Between the complex game play, historical context and supreme level of polish in the graphics and sound effects, there is plenty to appreciate and enjoy about this excellent title… for an adult. Assassin’s Creed has been eagerly anticipated for over a year, and mostly lives up to the hype it has generated, but is undoubtedly inappropriate for the not-old-enough-to-drive crowd. Judging by the way I reacted when I was barred from seeing Total Recall, I’m sure parents will have a difficult time trying to tell their kids they aren’t mature enough for the game.

Super Mario Galaxy
Systems: Wii
ESRB Rating: E

Remember how much fun the tea-cup ride was at the amusement park as a child? You’d strap yourself in and spend three minutes spinning uncontrollably, and when the ride ended you jumped right back in line. Now, remember the first time you went on one after you were 21? There’s a reason they put a park bench and trashcan right next to the exit. That’s how I felt playing Super Mario Galaxy: I was sure I’d have fun once the world stopped spinning.

That is no admonishment against the game, as this is absolutely one of the best Mario games ever, and the No. 1 must-have title for the Wii. Mario travels through dozens of galaxies (with bonus levels) in search of 120 stars while trying to save Princess Peach from Bowser (a dinosaur-like monster). It’s the same story Nintendo has been telling for more than 20 years, but as always there are enough innovations and changes to keep the game extremely fun and engaging.

As noted above, the worlds in Super Mario Galaxy are divided by galaxies, each of which consists of a number of various-sized planets. Mario runs and jumps on the heads of enemies as always, but now must also run and jump between planets, navigating not only the individual satellites but also fighting through the gravity applied by orbiting objects. Each planet (really each a series of tasks and puzzles) can be navigated in all directions, and Mario can literally run around these worlds at sometimes-nauseating speeds. The real star of the game is physics, though; jump while too close to a larger planet, and Mario will leave one rock’s gravity field and be pulled into another. Up and down, top and bottom often lose meaning in some of the interior sections. Keep Motrin handy.

Everyone with a Wii should purchase this title. It is one of the most fun and unique video game experiences in years. There is something indescribably exciting about defying gravity, and the compulsive collecting of items keeps the player motivated. Super Mario Galaxy combines the joy of coin collecting with the excitement of a high school physics experiment. Except fun. Wow, that was a terrible analogy. I’m still a little dizzy.

Madden NFL 08
Systems: PlayStation 3, Wii, Xbox 360 (also available on Game Cube, Nintendo DS, PC, PlayStation 2, PSP, Xbox)
ESRB Rating: E

Throw the ball. Fumble. Run the ball. Fumble. Attempt a field goal. Fumble. How did I fumble a field goal? Is that possible? I don’t think that’s possible.

Welcome to a professional writer’s attempt at football.

The Madden NFL franchise is one of the biggest cash cows in the video game industry, going back to John Madden Football for the Sega Genesis in 1990. In 17 years, one thing the games have in common is a complete dominance of the football genre across all systems (a second commonality is my complete inability to improve my game).

One of the complaints lobbied against the series, especially in recent years, has been the lackluster changes and additions in subsequent years, with the most significant alterations some years being only the updated rosters. Thankfully, 2008’s offering addresses many of the critiques that have plagued the other next-gen Madden titles, the foremost of these being a far more robust franchise mode. For number-crunchers and micro-managers, this mode is a godsend; between inflating individual players’ stats and tracking finances and trades, there is enough content to explore for weeks. Even football novices can find something to appreciate in the owner mode.

As far as the three main consoles are concerned, the differences are mostly minor. The Xbox 360 and PS3 version are comparable, but the 360 does have a slight graphical advantage, running at 60 frames to the PS3’s 30. Nintendo received the short end of the stick this time mostly due to the unorthodox control scheme. It is fun to utilize the motion controls, but ultimately the Wii Remote left me feeling like I had less control over the action, and I couldn’t perform my many fumbles with the same finesse. A lot of people do enjoy the Wii version, but for enthusiasts and competitive players, I’d recommend picking up the game on either Microsoft’s or Sony’s machine.

All the new updates and additions add yet another layer of substance to a game that already confuses me. The only concern for a young child is the depth of the game play; someone unfamiliar with the terminology and strategies of football could easily become overwhelmed and frustrated with Madden. Fans shouldn’t do without the game, and bookish writers who don’t watch the sport will get hopelessly lost in the sheer volume of information.

I’m joking, I know football. It’s that popular game in Europe, right?

Guitar Hero III: Legends of Rock
Systems: PlayStation 3, Wii, Xbox 360 (also available on Mac, PC and PlayStation 2)
ESRB Rating: T

Vince Neil, lead singer of Mötley Crüe, once remarked that everyone in the world wanted to be President of the United States, Heavyweight Champion of the world, or a rockstar, and the first two both wanted to be the third. And he was right. Sadly, rock ‘n’ roll died in 1996 when everyone in Metallica cut their hair, so it looks like we’re all stuck becoming presidents and boxing champions. Fortunately, Guitar Hero III: Legends of Rock is here to fill the void.

Like the previous two incarnations, Guitar Hero III utilizes a special guitar-shaped controller with a strum bar and five buttons on the neck. As notes appear on the screen, players press the corresponding buttons while strumming and rocking out. It’s a simple mechanic, but the game itself can be extremely difficult on the Hard and Expert settings.

Very little has changed between the last game and this one, but in this case that’s a good thing, because wailing on a guitar while sliding across the living room on your knees is fun for everyone (except your knees). The variety of tracks on this game is wider and better than on GH or GHII, with music ranging from classic ‘70s rock, to ‘80s metal, to ‘90s alt rock (The Smashing Pumpkins’ “Cherub Rock” is a personal favorite) and more modern tracks. There’s a good chance your kids won’t know “Paint It, Black,” but you probably don’t know “Knights of Cydonia,” so you can beat and embarrass each other in equal parts.

There are a lot of great multiplayer modes, both co-operative and competitive, making it a great head-banging/bonding experience, although you will need to pick up a second controller to take advantage of the dual-guitar action. The game’s Teen rating is due entirely to the content of the music; there are some suggestive lyrics as expected, and if you aren’t comfortable with your children hearing Slayer’s “Raining Blood” or Rage Against The Machine’s “Bulls on Parade,” this title may not be the best choice. On the other hand, if you aren’t comfortable with your children stage diving off the couch during a particularly wicked guitar solo, then I have only this to say: If it’s too loud, you’re too old.